It saddens me to say this, but I think our fearless leader, Bulgingsnake is on his way out. I’m afraid the sun is setting on the great TGO mastermind, folks, and it’s only a matter of time before we face the inevitable.
He’s just too damn old!
His faculties are shot and his brain is mush. When I visited him last year, he pottered around the bungalow in his undies with a cane, claiming he was a LRRP in Vietnam. It’s a heartbreaking thing to watch a 45 year old lose his marbles in such a spectacular fashion.
Just check out this gibberish email he sent the other day.
I give it until March before RockMomster is forced to lure him out behind the mango trees and blow his brains out like the retard in that John Steinbeck novel. That day will be a sad and rainy one in the United States of Florida. There will be no wind, and an all-round sense of vague melancholy will sweep across America’s penis.
“Today we lost a king” they’ll say quietly into their shoes. Flags will go to half-mast, dogs will whimper in the streets with uncertainty, and all Ross outlets will close out of respect for their fallen No. 1 customer.
But then we’ll get over it and things will be fine. For now I say relish these last few weeks with our demented Lord and Saviour. Try to keep his spirits up and remind him of the good old days, and don’t get bummed out if he forgets your name or doesn’t recognise your avatar pic.
What matters is the impact he made and the legacy he will leave behind.
