As you all know; Bulgingsnake has been missing-in-action from the TGO website recently (with the exception of yesterday’s vague post where he questions his sanity — probably a product of space travel). We hear your concerns and want to tell you that he is well and should be back to continue the debauchery soon.
Recently, Bulge had the great opportunity to join Jeff Bezos and friends on a quick jaunt to space on his billion dollar dong rocket. (which BS helped design).
It took amazing preparation to get physically fit for this mission to almost space. He spent weeks drinking less and jogging more. He underwent close-quarters-people-tolerance training, and he had NASA team up with Ralph Lauren to make him the most fashion forward schlong-sling the world has ever seen. It took 15 men, 36 hours to strap Bulge’s massive member into the sling before the other riders could join him on the ship (Blue Origin). Bezos himself spent 6 months learning breath-holding techniques from the world’s greatest free divers just so he could allow BS to take this trip with him and not risk suffocation by macrophallus.
The experience was worth the grueling training… though Bulge is still recuperating from his epic unfolding as he and his organ were just released from Blue Origin this morning. After a few scheduled UFO debriefings, some light physical therapy, and a couple blowjobs — he will be back to bring you quality entertainment.
